Falklands · English Bulldog
Argentina disputes Britain’s claim to the seas – the English Bulldog never goes in anyway
Der Hündeler, Edition of Thursday, 12 November 2026
What happened
Argentina has challenged Britain’s claim to the waters around the Falkland Islands before an international tribunal in Hamburg, in a case concerning oil. Britain should not be permitted to act as a 17th-century colonial power treating the waters as a “Dominium maris Britannici”, said Marcelo Kohen, representing Argentina at the hearing. He mocked Britain for apparently believing in the historic doctrine that the crown has sovereignty over expansive parts of the oceans.
What does this mean for your English Bulldog?
The English Bulldog claims sovereignty over any surface it happens to be lying on, the sofa by preference. Water is another matter, and one it concedes voluntarily: with a heavy front, short legs and a flat face, it is built to sink rather than swim. Its personal dominion of the seas therefore ends at the water’s edge of Lake Zurich. Mockery from Hamburg is met as its frequently cited lookalike Churchill might have met it: a long, level stare followed by snoring. Backing down is not in its nature. Neither, admittedly, is getting up.
What you can do now: Buy a canine life jacket before any trip to the lake. Do not contest territorial claims on the sofa.