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Thursday, 12 November 2026Produced with love & AI by Karpi
Der Hündeler
www.hundeler.chIndependent · non-partisan · house-trained12 breeds, one world
Nvidia · Shar-Pei
Alleged spy affair drags down Nvidia shares – the Shar-Pei furrows its brow
Stock image: A pale Shar-Pei stands in the shade of the trees, facing the camera as if it has already read the market report. Photo: Luis Miguel Bugallo Sánchez, CC BY 3.0
Nvidia chief executive Jensen Huang is reported to have had an affair with an alleged Chinese spy. According to the NZZ, US President Donald Trump sought Mr Huang's company even though he knew Mr Huang might have been seduced by a Chinese informant. Mr Trump claims to have known nothing. In Congress, there is widespread outrage in both parties. Nvidia shares fell after reports of a possible change at the top and rumours of a further affair.
What does this mean for your Shar-Pei?
The Shar-Pei has worn the appropriate face for this story since birth: furrowed brow, anxious gaze, enough skin for two dogs. It comes from southern China, where it guarded farms, and it still treats strangers with polite suspicion. It cannot be seduced, least of all by someone new to the neighbourhood handing out suspiciously generous biscuits. That would make it an ideal security adviser to a tech giant, were it not for its refusal to read share prices. Anyone who checked their portfolio this morning is now wearing the same expression. The Shar-Pei has managed it for centuries, without owning a single share.
What you can do now: Check your portfolio only after the morning walk. One worried face per household is plenty, and the Shar-Pei has that covered.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Sources: NZZ, SRF
US elections · Australian Shepherd
Upset in Mississippi – the Australian Shepherd suspects some very thorough herding
Stock image: a red merle Australian Shepherd, mouth open, apparently calling the last stragglers to the polls. Photo: Gerrit Werner Sonka, CC BY 4.0
For the first time in more than four decades, a Democrat has won a US Senate election in Mississippi. Scott Colom also becomes the state's first black senator since the 19th century. Donald Trump carried Mississippi by 22 points two years ago. Colom's surprise victory extends a string of Democratic wins and takes the party's Senate majority to 55 of 100 seats from January.
What does this mean for your Australian Shepherd?
How Colom pulled it off is not in the report. The Australian Shepherd has a theory all the same: anyone who closes a 22-point gap has rounded up people who would otherwise have stayed behind the barn. That is precisely what American cowboys bred him for on their ranches; despite the name, he has nothing to do with Australia. He leaves no animal behind, not even the one pointedly looking the other way. His often mismatched eyes let him keep both camps in view at once. In the Swiss suburbs there is no flock to speak of, so he makes do with children, cyclists and visiting relatives.
What you can do now: Post your ballot in good time. Otherwise the Australian Shepherd will escort you to the town hall himself on Sunday morning.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Sources: Tagesschau, BBC
Credit Suisse · Appenzeller Sennenhund
Switzerland fines ex-Credit Suisse chair Urs Rohner – no spy would get past an Appenzeller
Stock image: Appenzeller Sennenhund by a stream, having long since identified the photographer as a stranger. Photo: RobK50, CC0
The Swiss federal government has fined Urs Rohner, the long-serving chairman of Credit Suisse’s board. Rohner is alleged to have made false statements to the Swiss financial markets regulator. The case is linked to the surveillance affair at the bank, in which people were reportedly placed under observation. He is presumed innocent.
What does this mean for your Appenzeller?
Any private investigator parking outside an Appenzeller’s farm would be exposed within seconds. The breed was developed in north-eastern Switzerland to drive cattle and guard the farmyard. To an Appenzeller, a stranger remains a stranger until proven otherwise, and for some time after that. It does not report discreetly; it reports loudly enough for the next hamlet to hear. Misleading statements are not in its repertoire: it barks at whatever it sees, and it sees everything, including the postman who has called daily for eleven years. A regulator questioning an Appenzeller would need no transcript, only ear defenders.
What you can do now: Leave surveillance of unfamiliar cars outside the house to the dog. The Appenzeller will do it unasked and free of charge.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: SRF
Diplomacy · Irish Wolfhound
US envoys head to Dublin – where the Irish Wolfhound’s head is already at table height
US envoys Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner have arrived in Moscow for talks on Ukraine. At the Kremlin they are discussing negotiation results with Vladimir Putin, before travelling on to Dublin later on Thursday to meet Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky. Europeans were not at the table during the earlier talks in Abu Dhabi. The envoys say they now want to persuade Putin to let Europe take part.
What does this mean for your Irish Wolfhound?
The Irish Wolfhound is the tallest dog breed in the world and the calmest host in Ireland. He knows that one can receive guests without taking a seat at the table: standing up, his chin rests at table height anyway, right next to the bread basket. He once hunted wolves; these days he lies across the hallway so that every visitor has to get past him. As mascot to Irish regiments he understands protocol: he marches at the front and signs nothing. Given his short life expectancy, he considers talks that drag on for months a poor use of time, though he is far too polite to say so. For wolfhounds in Switzerland, nothing changes for now.
What you can do now: Next time you have visitors, keep the bread basket away from the edge of the table. Your host is already standing beside it.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Sources: BBC, SRF, Tagesschau
Climate summit · Kangal
Cop31 in Turkey: the world negotiates limits – a Kangal simply sets them
Dozens of world leaders have gathered in Turkey for the Cop31 climate summit. Hilda Heine, president of the Marshall Islands, warned on Wednesday that without an overwhelming response to the climate crisis “the world we know is over”. Overshooting the 1.5C Paris target, she said, would mean worsening floods and eroding shores for Pacific nations. The UN chief called for a windfall tax on oil and gas companies.
What does this mean for your Kangal?
The Kangal hails from central Anatolia, where it has guarded flocks for centuries, usually with no shepherd within earshot. It does not negotiate a boundary; it lies down on it and stays there. It has never persuaded a wolf with a target figure, only with its presence. The arrival of dozens of delegations and their entourages in its homeland is noted with the suspicion bred into it over generations: every stranger is a wolf until proven otherwise. In several Swiss cantons, owning one requires an official permit. Windfall profits, so far, do not.
What you can do now: Walk the garden boundary together once. He settled it long ago, but he appreciates the gesture.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: The Guardian
Business · Greater Swiss Mountain Dog
Investors turn on Lindt's patriarch – the Greater Swiss Mountain Dog keeps pulling his cart
Stock image: Greater Swiss Mountain Dog in front of a stone wall, staying at his post for as long as nobody demands his resignation. Photo: KIKKUZZO88, Public Domain
Ernst Tanner has been at the helm of the Swiss chocolate maker Lindt & Sprüngli for 33 years. Investors are now calling for him to step down. Swiss broadcaster SRF describes it as a crisis at the chocolate company and a revolt against its patriarch.
What does this mean for your Greater Swiss Mountain Dog?
Thirty-three years in the same job amounts to roughly three lifetimes for a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog. He still considers it a perfectly sensible tenure: once you have been harnessed to a cart, you do not ask about retirement age. His ancestors hauled milk to the village cheese dairy, and for health reasons nobody ever told him it can also be turned into chocolate. His relationship with the industry is therefore that of a supplier who has never been paid in kind. Investors at the garden gate would have been dutifully announced, not chased off. In his view, questions of leadership are settled by whoever holds the lead.
What you can do now: Keep the chocolate on the very top shelf. He can reach the one below it without effort.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: SRF
Space · Dalmatian
Euclid maps 900 million galaxies – the Dalmatian is still waiting to be counted
The European Space Agency’s Euclid mission has revealed more than 900 million galaxies in its first major data release. It has also turned up about 15,000 potential cases of gravitational lensing, a phenomenon that could help unlock the secrets of the “dark universe”. Launched in July 2023, the mission aims to create the largest 3D map of the universe ever made, covering a third of the sky and more than 10 billion years of cosmic history.
What does this mean for your Dalmatian?
Dalmatians are born white; the spots only appear after a few weeks. Ever since, the Dalmatian has been waiting for someone to record them officially. The ESA has now catalogued 900 million dots in the sky, while the local council, when issuing the dog licence, asks only for breed and microchip number. No two spot patterns are alike, which in the Dalmatian’s own assessment makes him at least as scientifically rewarding as a galaxy cluster. He puts his absence from the dataset down to speed: a dog bred to trot for hours beside horse-drawn carriages does not sit still for any exposure time.
What you can do now: Count the spots while the dog is asleep. With a Dalmatian that is awake, no space telescope will help.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: The Guardian
Tasmania · Australian Cattle Dog
Tasmania asks tourists to stay away. The Australian Cattle Dog doesn’t ask
Stock image: an Australian Cattle Dog creeps low through the leaves, on its way to the nearest heel. Photo: Guilbrynski, CC0
Tourism Tasmania has launched a new campaign declaring that the island state is “not really for tourists”. It rests on the idea that Australians prefer to think of themselves as “travellers” rather than “tourists”. According to the marketers, research shows that “tourists hate themselves”. The former SBS newsreader Lee Lin Chin has been enlisted to front the tongue-in-cheek campaign. The Guardian asks whether it is simply a piece of reverse psychology.
What does this mean for your Australian Cattle Dog?
The Australian Cattle Dog was bred in 19th-century Australia to move cattle across the outback. A dash of dingo blood gave it firm views on visitors. Its method is a short, precise nip to the heel: no research, no newsreader, no marketing budget. It draws no distinction between tourist and traveller; it recognises only two categories, the herd and everyone else. The record holder Bluey lived to 29, long enough to watch plenty of tourism campaigns come and go without ever revising its own. On a Swiss pavement, mind you, heel contact is frowned upon by the local council.
What you can do now: Warn your guests and suggest sturdy shoes. Introducing yourself as a traveller will not help.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: The Guardian
Falklands · English Bulldog
Argentina disputes Britain’s claim to the seas – the English Bulldog never goes in anyway
Argentina has challenged Britain’s claim to the waters around the Falkland Islands before an international tribunal in Hamburg, in a case concerning oil. Britain should not be permitted to act as a 17th-century colonial power treating the waters as a “Dominium maris Britannici”, said Marcelo Kohen, representing Argentina at the hearing. He mocked Britain for apparently believing in the historic doctrine that the crown has sovereignty over expansive parts of the oceans.
What does this mean for your English Bulldog?
The English Bulldog claims sovereignty over any surface it happens to be lying on, the sofa by preference. Water is another matter, and one it concedes voluntarily: with a heavy front, short legs and a flat face, it is built to sink rather than swim. Its personal dominion of the seas therefore ends at the water’s edge of Lake Zurich. Mockery from Hamburg is met as its frequently cited lookalike Churchill might have met it: a long, level stare followed by snoring. Backing down is not in its nature. Neither, admittedly, is getting up.
What you can do now: Buy a canine life jacket before any trip to the lake. Do not contest territorial claims on the sofa.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: The Guardian
Budapest · Puli
Hungary opens its informer files – with a Puli, nobody has ever known where it is looking
Stock image: a Puli on a rock by the sea, gazing in a direction that cannot be established. Photo: Anita Ritenour, CC BY 2.0
Hungary is opening the files from its years of communist dictatorship. The names of thousands of informants are now accessible. The move is seen as an attempt to draw a line under that legacy, but it is also raising new questions.
What does this mean for your Puli?
The Puli comes from Hungary and has spent its whole existence watching, though never discreetly. Beneath the long cords of its coat sit two attentive eyes; which way they are pointing cannot be determined from the outside. On the Puszta, the Hungarian plain, this was part of the job: the sheep never knew whether the herding dog was looking at them, so they stayed with the flock just in case. As an informer, however, the Puli would have been useless. Everything it sees, it reports at once, loudly, to the entire neighbourhood. In Switzerland its only file is held by the local council: microchip registered, dog tax paid, nothing further to report.
What you can do now: When in doubt, greet both ends of the Puli politely. One of them will look back.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: SRF
Literary prize · Rhodesian Ridgeback
Zimbabwean writer wrote it himself – and the Ridgeback’s ridge isn’t generated either
An investigation into an African writing award has found “no evidence” that the winning story was generated by artificial intelligence, the BBC reports. The allegation had been made in a US magazine. The Zimbabwean writer Simbarashe Kundizeza had vehemently denied it.
What does this mean for your Ridgeback?
The Rhodesian Ridgeback comes from the same part of the world as the author and has received the news with quiet satisfaction. He, too, lives under suspicion: a strip of hair runs along his back in the wrong direction, with two neat whorls at the front, and strangers on the pavement routinely ask whether it is gel, dye or a fault in the coat. He does not respond. A dog whose ancestors kept lions at bay in southern Africa does not submit to questioning from passers-by. The ridge was inherited, not written, and every hair of it grew entirely unassisted. The only source he genuinely distrusts is the weather app, whenever it forecasts rain for his walk.
What you can do now: If anyone doubts the ridge, there is no need for an inquiry. The pedigree papers are in the drawer.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: BBC
Tokyo · Akita Inu
Japan questions America’s loyalty – for the Akita, the question never arises
Stock image: an Akita in the snow, smiling with the reserve of a career diplomat. Photo: TsutsuiKennel, CC BY-SA 4.0
Following the defeat of President Trump’s Republican Party in the midterm elections, concern is growing in Tokyo, according to Deutsche Welle. The fear is that the United States could seek quick diplomatic wins with China at the expense of its allies in the Indo-Pacific.
What does this mean for your Akita?
In Japan the Akita is designated a natural monument and is regarded as the embodiment of loyalty. Hachiko walked to Shibuya station every day for almost ten years to meet his owner; a statue of him stands there today. For the Akita, loyalty is not up for negotiation, and it does not follow the electoral calendar. The idea of a partner striking a quick deal with the neighbours after a midterm vote is entirely foreign to him: he keeps strangers at arm’s length as a matter of principle. He will not bark about it. The Akita registers his unease in silence, with a look any foreign ministry would envy.
What you can do now: Come home on time. Your Akita keeps a record, even if he never mentions it.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: Deutsche Welle
Brief barks
Employers must give staff time off when a sick cat urgently needs the vet. The pug has read the leaflet and now coughs suspiciously often on Monday mornings. (SRF)
The Ethiopian water mouse, feared extinct for almost 100 years, has turned up again. The Jack Russell has clipped the article and is looking for direct flights. (SRF)
The liner SS United States has been deliberately sunk off Florida to become the world's largest artificial reef. Nobody asked the Newfoundland, who would happily have towed it ashore. (BBC)
Imprint
Der Hündeler is a work of satire.
All 12 articles of this edition at www.hundeler.ch. Photos: Wikimedia Commons, resized, greyscale.
Produced with love & AI by Karpi · www.hundeler.ch
