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Wednesday, 11 November 2026Produced with love & AI by Karpi
Der Hündeler
www.hundeler.chIndependent · non-partisan · house-trained14 breeds, one world
Cyber warfare · Labrador
Hackers attack Europe’s freezers – no breed is hit harder than the Labrador
Stock image: Labrador, shortly after learning that the cold chain has been broken. Photo: Dktue, CC0
In October, cyber attacks knocked out the refrigeration systems of supermarkets in several European countries; in France alone, around 700 sites were affected. Paris now blames a cyber unit of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards, has summoned the Iranian ambassador and is announcing European sanctions. Tehran denies it. Russia had previously been considered a possible culprit; Germany has not yet committed itself.
What does this mean for your Labrador?
The Labrador is the only breed that regards the fridge as a member of the family. It does not distinguish between Tehran and Moscow, but it does distinguish between “freezer running” and “freezer not running”. Anyone who feeds raw depends on the same cold chain as the supermarket: if it fails, the beef thaws faster than any diplomatic relationship. Whether Swiss shops were affected is not clear from the reports. A sack of dry food in the cellar does no harm all the same – it is the only emergency supply that cannot be hacked.
What you can do now: Lay in supplies for two weeks. The Labrador will find them in two hours.
Dog relevance ●●●●● · Sources: NZZ, SRF, Tagesschau
Diplomacy · Miniature Pinscher
Abu Dhabi: first contact on neutral ground, on a very long lead
Miniature Pinscher Nora on a walk in Kyiv (archive photo from 2019). Photo: Anycia98, CC BY-SA 4.0
For the first time in nine months, Russia and Ukraine have negotiated directly with each other again – in Abu Dhabi, mediated by the United States. The talks have ended. A prisoner exchange has been agreed: 1,000 people on each side. On Thursday the US envoys Kushner and Witkoff travel to Moscow to see Putin. European representatives were on site, but the Russian delegation had no plans to meet them. Hardly anyone expects a breakthrough.
What does this mean for your Miniature Pinscher?
The Miniature Pinscher weighs five kilos and believes it weighs fifty; it knows its way around great powers. Every dog school teaches the same thing for cases like this: first contact on neutral ground, on a long lead, with someone holding biscuits in the middle. That is exactly what Abu Dhabi was. Not going for a walk together afterwards is normal. That 2,000 people are to come home is more than most first meetings achieve. For Nora, who takes her walks in Kyiv, something may change one day.
What you can do now: Nothing. Except to remember, at the next dog meet-up, that nine months of silence can be overcome.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Sources: SRF, Tagesschau, NZZ
General strike · Spanish Greyhound (Galgo)
Spain strikes for affordable housing – the Galgo knows the housing shortage
Stock image: Spanish Greyhound. On strike for around 18 hours a day, lying down. Photo: Jernej Furman from Slovenia, CC BY 2.0
Spain is today seeing its first general strike since 2012. Millions of people are stopping work for 24 hours, demanding better pay and affordable housing. The idea came not from the trade unions but from a tenants’ association. Transport is disrupted, and there are blockades and several arrests. The country elects a new parliament in just under three weeks.
What does this mean for your Galgo?
No dog knows Spain’s housing problem better than the Galgo. According to animal welfare organisations, thousands are abandoned every year after the hunting season; many only find a sofa once they reach Switzerland. There the problem starts again: anyone who has ever looked for a flat in Zurich with a dog knows the phrase “pets by arrangement”, which in practice means “no”. For the Galgo, incidentally, affordable housing is quickly defined: two metres of sofa, one blanket, south-facing.
What you can do now: Keep the sofa free. It is no longer yours anyway.
Dog relevance ●●●○○ · Sources: Tagesschau, The Guardian
Washington · German Shepherd
Sit. Stay. Pete Hegseth masters the command the German Shepherd is famous for
The US House of Representatives has halted impeachment proceedings against Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth before they had properly begun. They were initiated by a member of his own party, the Republican congressman Massie – chiefly over the Iran war. Republicans voted against almost unanimously. Hegseth spoke of a “show trial”; President Trump called him a “great American patriot”. The Democrats can try again next year.
What does this mean for your German Shepherd?
The German Shepherd is the model pupil of obedience: it sits, stays and waits to be released. Hegseth is staying too; the release came from his own party. The difference: a working dog has to retake its test regularly, and in front of people who do not belong to its own pack. Direct consequences for Swiss German Shepherds: none. The war it was actually about, however, goes on.
What you can do now: Practise “stay”. Evidently it takes longer than expected in Washington too.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Sources: SRF, Tagesschau, BBC
Climate · St Bernard
Climate ranking: Germany slips back – the St Bernard is the first to sweat
In the new Climate Change Performance Index (CCPI), Germany lands in its worst position since 2019. Brazil, Colombia and Romania move past it. But the report also sees momentum: technological progress is driving climate protection forward.
What does this mean for your St Bernard?
The St Bernard was bred for the Great St Bernard Pass, 2,469 metres above sea level, with snow into June. With its thick coat and a good 70 kilos, at 30 degrees it is roughly what a person in a ski suit would be in a sauna. Every additional hot summer means: walk at six in the morning, then the cellar floor. Where Switzerland stands in the ranking is not clear from the report. The little barrel round its neck is a legend, by the way – and schnapps does not help against global warming either.
What you can do now: In November: nothing, this is its season. In July: shade, water, a cool stone floor.
Dog relevance ●●●●○ · Source: Deutsche Welle
Buenos Aires · English Mastiff
The Pope gives Milei a talking-to – his Mastiffs have no comment
Stock image: English Mastiff. Weighs about twenty Miniature Pinschers. Photo: Fido Factor from USA, CC BY-SA 2.0
Pope Leo XIV has been cheered by millions of people in Argentina – and has clearly criticised President Javier Milei’s austerity policy: the economy must benefit everyone, he said. Argentina is the second stop on his twelve-day trip to Latin America. Milei once described Leo’s predecessor as a “representative of evil”.
What does this mean for your Mastiff?
Hardly any head of state is as much of a dog person as Milei: according to media reports his English Mastiffs are clones of his late dog Conan and are named after economists; he calls them his “four-legged children”. A Mastiff weighs 80 kilos and more and eats accordingly – austerity, as everyone knows, ends at the food bowl. Whether the Pope also blessed the dogs is not on record.
What you can do now: Do not clone your own dog. And do not name it after economists.
Dog relevance ●●●○○ · Sources: Tagesschau, The Guardian
Taxes · Chihuahua
California spares its billionaires – your Chihuahua keeps paying
Voters in California have rejected a special tax on billionaires. Opponents had put a great deal of money into an advertising campaign – successfully: the majority said no.
What does this mean for your Chihuahua?
In California the Chihuahua is the dog of the rich and famous and travels in handbags that cost more than a used car. In Switzerland it is one thing above all: taxable. Practically every municipality levies a dog tax, somewhere between about 50 and 200 francs a year depending on where you live, usually the same for two kilos of dog as for sixty. In other words: a Chihuahua in the Zurich suburb of Dietikon is taxed more reliably than a tech billionaire in Palo Alto. No multi-million counter-campaign by the dogs is known.
What you can do now: Check the dog tag. The municipality does too.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: Deutsche Welle
Paris · French Bulldog
France raises the minimum wage – for a French Bulldog it goes nowhere
French Bulldog in Josselin, Brittany. Photo: Tsaag Valren, CC BY-SA 4.0
France is bringing forward the minimum wage increase planned for January: from December there will be 1.6 per cent more, 24 euros net per month. In view of the continuing protests, the government apparently wants to send a signal.
What does this mean for your French Bulldog?
24 euros a month is roughly one sack of food. But the French Bulldog is among the breeds with the highest vet bills: short nose, narrow airways, sensitive skin. Anyone in France who works for the minimum wage and keeps a Frenchie has spent the pay rise again after the first consultation. The dog itself takes it calmly and goes on snoring.
What you can do now: Look into pet insurance. Before buying, not after.
Dog relevance ●●●○○ · Source: Tagesschau
Budapest · Hungarian Vizsla
Hungary settles accounts with the Orban era – the Vizsla shows how to point
In Hungary, Aron Orban, the brother of former prime minister Viktor Orban, has been arrested. He is accused of people smuggling; the presumption of innocence applies. According to the NZZ, the arrest is above all symbolic and points to the cronyism of the previous government. Prime Minister Magyar wants to hold those responsible at the time to account.
What does this mean for your Vizsla?
The Magyar Vizsla is not named after the prime minister; “magyar” simply means “Hungarian”. It suits the situation all the same. A pointing dog indicates where something is sitting in the bushes, stands motionless and leaves the rest to those in charge – pretty much the division of labour between investigators and courts. For Vizslas in Switzerland nothing changes: they are still regarded as Velcro on four legs and will follow you all the way to the loo.
What you can do now: Assure the dog that it is not the one being referred to.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: NZZ
Labour market · Border Collie
AI upends the labour market – the Border Collie fears for its job
Stock image: Border Collie, looking for a task. Photo: Kreuzschnabel, CC BY-SA 3.0
Artificial intelligence is throwing the labour market into turmoil, says Andrea Nahles, head of Germany’s Federal Employment Agency. Whether AI costs countless jobs or creates many new ones is open; Nahles has presented a calculation for the future.
What does this mean for your Border Collie?
No dog defines itself through work as much as the Border Collie. If it has none, it herds children, cyclists and the robot vacuum cleaner. Elsewhere sheep are already being driven by drones, so the competition is real. The good news: a machine can count sheep, but it cannot stare at them. The bad news: an unemployed Border Collie does not retrain. It dismantles the sofa.
What you can do now: Organise something for it to do before it does so itself.
Dog relevance ●●●●○ · Source: Deutsche Welle
Berlin · Dachshund
Germany: more and more refuse to serve – the Dachshund has done so for centuries
In Germany the number of conscientious objectors is rising sharply, according to a newspaper report. Many young men apparently fear that conscription will return and are refusing armed service as a precaution.
What does this mean for your Dachshund?
The Dachshund is the best-known objector of German origin. It hears every command, examines whether it makes sense and then decides for itself – usually against. It was bred to work alone in the badger’s sett, with no superior and no radio contact. It never filed an application for this. Swiss Dachshunds are not affected by the report: the army does use dogs, but has no compulsory service for them.
What you can do now: Call “Come!”. Wait. Fetch a biscuit.
Dog relevance ●○○○○ · Source: Deutsche Welle
Sports politics · Siberian Husky
Russia may return to the ice – the Husky never left
European Sled Dog Championships 2017 in Inzell, Bavaria: eight Siberian Huskies in harness. Photo: Isiwal, CC BY-SA 4.0
The Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) has cleared the way for Russia’s return to international ice hockey. The German Ice Hockey Federation had planned its home World Championship in 2027 without Russia; the ruling now throws the preparations into doubt. Munich’s Olympic bid could also be affected.
What does this mean for your Husky?
The Siberian Husky is the only winter athlete of Siberian origin that was never banned. It runs in a team and sticks to the rules as long as the sled is heading its way. Sports politics is foreign to it: whoever is in harness pulls. For Swiss Huskies something else matters anyway – whether there is enough snow this winter for the sled dog races to take place.
What you can do now: Give it exercise. A Husky that is not allowed to run files its complaint itself, howling, at three in the morning.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: Deutsche Welle
Central Switzerland · Entlebucher Mountain Dog
Emmen wants to become a city – the Entlebucher would rather stay in the country
Emmen in the canton of Lucerne has grown steadily over the years. Now the municipality wants to shed the label of “suburb” and rename itself a city.
What does this mean for your Entlebucher?
The Entlebucher Mountain Dog comes from the same canton, a few valleys further on, and was bred to drive cattle. In a city of Emmen it would mostly find commuters, and they are harder to drive. For dogs the renaming changes nothing: the lead requirement, the dog-waste bins and the dog tax are called the same in a city as in a village. Only the cows become rarer.
What you can do now: Nothing. A place-name sign cannot be herded.
Dog relevance ●●○○○ · Source: SRF
Customs · Bernese Mountain Dog
Bern locks up a bear to open carnival season – the Bernese Mountain Dog has an alibi
Stock image: Bernese Mountain Dog. Demonstrably in a meadow at the time of the offence. Photo: Shari F from Vancouver, Canada, CC BY 2.0
On 11 November carnival season begins in some places. In Bern a bear is locked up to mark the start – one of five Swiss carnival customs presented by the broadcaster SRF today.
What does this mean for your Bernese Mountain Dog?
Big, black, leisurely gait, permanently hungry: no native of Bern looks more like a bear than the Bernese Mountain Dog. No mix-ups are on record so far. All the same, it is advisable not to growl in the old town today and to identify yourself as a dog on request. The bear is only released at carnival. No Bernese Mountain Dog would last that long without a mid-morning snack.
What you can do now: Wear your dog tag where it can be seen. Do not growl.
Dog relevance ●●●○○ · Source: SRF
Brief barks
Gulf region: Iran’s Revolutionary Guards report explosions on oil tankers. The greyhound continues to regard petrol as overrated and recommends running to dog school. (NZZ)
Off California, researchers have filmed a rare barreleye fish whose head you can see through. The Newfoundland, responsible for water rescue, sees no need for action. (SRF)
Tenancy law: the Swiss consumer programme “Kassensturz” clarifies whether you may hang wet laundry in your flat. The report does not comment on wet Golden Retrievers. (SRF)
Imprint
Der Hündeler is a work of satire.
All 14 articles of this edition at www.hundeler.ch. Photos: Wikimedia Commons, resized, greyscale.
Produced with love & AI by Karpi · www.hundeler.ch
